How do you deal with a psychotic mother?

I need to vent so bad right now. My mother is so freaking psychotic it's not even funny. But then again, she's Asian, so maybe that's what you would expect from these type of parents. But my mother takes the cake; I MEAN SERIOUSLY. So she called me at 5 to tell me to do the laundry, and she was like " If there's some quarters left, dry the non-black clothes. So I was like okay. But then I forget to leave out the black ones from the dryer. I'm sorry. I'll admit I was wrong, but it was an honest mistake; how bad could it be? Does it MATTER that your clothes will be DRY once leaving the wash? Who cares if it's black; I freaking washed and dried it for you. So then, I bring the clothes up, and then my mom starts her psychotic rampage. "THESE CLOTHES ARE TOO HOT, IT'S GOING TO BE WRINKLY! I TOLD YOU NOT THE DRY THESE CLOTHES! HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO WEAR THIS! IT'S TOO ******* DRY! LIKE TEA LEAVES! OMG LOOK HOW WRINKLY THIS IS" Seriously? What do you expect, mom? when you dry clothes, they get wrinkly. It's always like that. But then, she spends 10 freaking minutes telling me " I TOLD YOU NOT TO DRY THE CLOTHES; YOU NEVER FREAKING LISTEN TO ME DO YOU? I SPEND GOOD MONEY ON THESE CLOTHES AND NOW YOU RUINED THEM BY WRINKLING THEM! YOU WASTED MONEY ON DRYING THEM TO WASTE AWAY MY CLOTHES ANYWAYS! I TOLD YOU I TOLD YOU NOT TO DRY THE CLOTHES!" What the hell? You did not tell me that at all. You told me not to dry the black clothes, which I did, and I'm sorry for. But out of the entire load, only 1 or 2 items of clothing were black... You mean to say that counts as the whole freaking load? You told me I could dry the clothes... And then she goes on to rant, "You always do this! You never listen to me! You're so spoiled... You can never do anything right.... I saw on the new.... someone your age was working at a sweatshop in China! Look at you, going to school... You are so blessed! You are spoiled! Other children are working, while you are able to go to school! And you're not even grateful! I tell you to wash the clothes and you can't ever do it properly... " But then she seriously starts to deviate... " I WISH YOU HAD NEVER BEEN BORN... MY LIFE WOULD HAVE BEEN SO MUCH BETTER WITHOUT YOU... I WOULDN'T HAVE TO WORK SO MUCH PROVIDING FOR YOU... AND FOR WHAT? YOU DONT DO ANYTHING AT SCHOOL; HOW COULD YOU? YOU'RE ALWAYS LATE TO SCHOOL!(Which, by the way, is completely untrue) AS SOON AS YOU TURN 18, I'M KICKING YOU OUT... YOU'RE SUCH AN INCONVENIENCE TO ME(Me, Me, Me, Me... If you hate me that much, you should have learned to use a condom... Abortion is always an option too... Or, you know, ABSINENCE... People need to know the consequences of their actions... If you really didn't want me to be born, there are many many measures you could have taken to prevent me, so don't give me that bullshit.)" But then she starts on about my father, whom I hate with a burning passion(He molested my older sister when she was 16; my mom knows this, I know this. She also knows that I absolutely abhor this man, and yet, she continues on to say " YOU LOVE YOUR FATHER SO MUCH? WHY DON'T YOU GO TO CHINA SO YOU CAN JOIN HIM? HE RAN AWAY FROM US... YOU'RE JUST AS BAD AS HIM[Because you messed up while doing the laundry; you are obviously a wicked son who will go to hell now]! YOU MIGHT AS WELL GROW UP SO YOU CAN FOLLOW IN HIS FOOTSTEPS! MIGHT AS WELL, RIGHT? YOU DON'T LISTEN TO ME ANYWAYS! I SPENT 2600 DOLLARS ON A PREP SCHOOL SO THAT YOU CAN GET INTO A GOOD HIGH SCHOOL, AND YOU DON'T EVEN ASK ME WHAT SCHOOL I WANT YOU TO GO TOO?(Okay, 1st of all, this is my life... not yours... Choosing a high school is important to me, and it's my decision... not yours... Also... nobody told you to spend that much money so I could go to a prep school that I did not need or want...)" Then, she jumps back to laundry... From my choice of high school? Which was 4 years ago? "LOOK AT THIS SHIRT... LOOK HOW WRINKLY THIS IS!(Again, what do you expect mom...? I've been doing the laundry for 5 years now... I've done the same thing I've always done. I've never heard any complaints before. Also? Seriously? SHIRTS CAN BE IRONED OH MY GOD)... And then she goes back to folding clothes, and I think she's finally with her psycho ***** fit... until 5 minutes later, when she comes back with a freaking hammer of all thing, and smashes my laptop... because apparently" YOU DON'T HAVE SCHOOL NOW; YOU DON'T NEED THIS ANYMORE... YOU ALWAYS STAY UP UNTIL LATE AT NIGHT ON THIS THING... AND FOR WHAT? HOMEWORK? YOU'RE NOT DOING WELL IN SCHOOL ANYWAYS; YOU'RE LATE ALL THE TIME!(This is completely ludicrous; I have enrolled in all honors classes, and am taking three AP courses... While still maintaining a ~90 average... She knows nothing about me at all.)